Ever had that uneasy sick feeling in your gut, wondering if your
partner is about to break up with you? I know I have. During one
ill-fated relationship, I told my best friend that if I had known I was
boarding the Titanic when the relationship began, I wouldn’t have agreed
to it in the first place. Perhaps in a spontaneous fit of masochism, I
felt destined to continue for the foreseeable future (three whole days
after that). Not shockingly, my gut feeling turned out to be right.
Starting to feel like your partner is pulling away? Here are 9 signs that a breakup might be coming soon.
Communication Falls Off:
Those little messages in the middle of the day drop off and become
nonexistent. The little notes on the mirror or in fact any communication
becomes scarce. Speaking to each other starts to feel like a labored
chore.
Lots Of Conflict:
Petty disagreements abound. Disagreements escalate more quickly than
they used to. Fighting is never fun, but faster escalation of your
arguments is a sign. If you two always quibbled over a certain topic and
it has gone from a minor disagreement to a major battle, this is a bad
sign.
Your Partner No Longer Cares To Fight:
This happens often with women, and I can vouch for the idea that if
I’m telling you I don’t like something, it means I still care to mention
it and haven’t started planning my exit yet. If you’re finding that
they just don’t seem to care anymore, this is bad news.
Sudden Shiny, New Life Goals:
Sudden interest in veterinary education plan requiring them to move
across the country? Check. Difficulty of you coming along for new plan?
Check. If you are just getting to know them, then this doesn’t often
apply, since you are still finding out what makes them tick. However, if
you are finding they have sudden new interests that don’t include you
or would be hard for you to do together, be wary.
They Start Acting Out:
This one stems from a total lack of caring what you think anymore
and/or knowing that they need a change but not being ready or too
cowardly to make one. People who are on the way out the door begin
living for themselves and often will subconsciously sabotage a
relationship in hopes that you’ll leave them. Have they suddenly started
acting uncharacteristically cranky and cruel for no reason? Acting out
is a big sign that things might be starting to go off the rails and/or
that your relationship isn’t so great in the first place. It’s
definitely worth a conversation to figure out what is going on.
Lots Of Long Nights At The Office:
Is your partner suddenly working late frequently? If they are
suddenly accepting a lot of overtime that they passed up before, this
can be a sign that they are about to leave. Many people who are unhappy
in their relationships start to distance themselves by throwing
themselves into their work.
Sudden Renewed Interest In Their Appearance:
When people are eyeing the door, they often become very aware of
their appearance to the opposite sex. If they let their appearance slide
a little during your relationship, suddenly they are interested in
going to the gym, dressing better and fixing themselves up more. A tell
tale sign of this is when they don’t seem to be interested in including
you in fitness activities. For example, in the past they might have
suggested that you hit the gym together, suddenly they start going solo.
This is another tell-tale sign that they might be cheating, so beware
of that as well.
Nagging Gut Feeling That Something Isn’t Right:
Only you know if this is true for you, but if you have had that
feeling that something isn’t right, you are probably right. Honor your
feelings and have a conversation with them in a non-accusatory fashion.
Ask if they are happy in your relationship. Check in with them.
You Feel Clingier Than Usual:
This one coincides with the bad feeling in your gut. Often when one
person is pulling away, it sends the other partner into a mode where
they start to question their partner’s motives and it sets off a
negative, push and pull cycle. For example, the man notices that the
woman is acting aloof and starts to worry about what is going on. So he
starts questioning her about things he has never worried about before.
He gets more clingy and tries harder. This freaks her out and makes her
pull even further away. This cycle is dangerous because one person
becoming clingy and insecure can drive the other one away without there
actually being a problem to start with.
Keep in mind that these breakup signs are not set in stone, and just
one without some of the others might mean nothing. As always, it’s
better to have a conversation than freak out and start boxing up your
stuff in order to strike first. Often, if someone has pulled away, there
are steps you can take to save your relationship.
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